It better've been worth it, brother
by embryonic-trite
Summary: [RATED T FOR LANGUAGE; S2 FINALE SPOILERS; BROTHERLY SETH/RICHIE; DRUG USE/ALCOHOL MENTIONED] Seth Gecko didn't get to say goodbye. Richie Gecko tried to say goodbye, but she wouldn't hear it.


**I'm a little obsessed with this tv show now, okay? Kate Fuller is a precious angel and I'm really excited wondering about what they're going to do to her in S3.**

 **In watching the finale, I couldn't help but wonder what was going through Seth's mind when Richie told him she died.**

 **Anyways, enjoy.**

 **disclaimer:** **I am not rich enough to own a Seth Gecko or Richie Gecko of my own**

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Richie Gecko's head shot up almost immediately when his brother stumble… _speaking of shooting up_ …

No, that wasn't fair.

Seth stopped doing _that_.

Beer was cheaper anyways. And, given that they had a bar now, there was plenty of it.

Ever since the unofficial grand re-opening of Jacknife Jeds, Seth was almost "big-score-gotta-get-to-motherfuckin'-Mexico" self as long as the sun was out. But when the sun said goodnight, he was a jackass – alcohol induced, though – like his brother, not caring what he broke. These were the few times Richie was relieved his brother wasn't anything like him.

"Haven't seen you since this morning," Richie said while he loosened his tie.

Seth spat and snarled at a pillar that, apparently, looked like his brother.

"We're supposed to be running this together, brother," lectured the four-eyed Gecko, swallowing the fact that he sounded like his big brother.

Seth said, "I don't care about the _snakes_ or about Jacknife Jeds," as he tumbled to the floor and leaned against the arm chair – the red one that used to belong to Malvado, the one they had yet to remove. He sipped at the almost-empty bottle in his hand. How much beer did he have to make him drunk? Richie didn't have time to do the math, but it must've been a lot, because Seth didn't lose balance unless he was _really_ hammered. Even tipsy, Seth had some class.

"Today's her birthday, y'know."

Richie slowly sat in front of Seth and tried to take the bottle out of his hand, but Seth kept holding it back and laughing at every attempt.

"I don't know if she knew I knew…wait," he checked to see if that made sense, "Yep. She didn't know I knew when her birthday was. Today's her birthday."

"How do you know that?" Richie pulled his legs to his chest; how did Seth know what to do in situations like this?

"Her daddy told me," he slurred, "back at the Twister before the _che-naans_ tried to turn baby Kate into a roast beef or somethin'," that was the first time in a long time (drunk and sober) that Seth said her name.

"She would've been 19 today. Shit, she's young," Seth looked up at his brother, "What was it like watching her die?"

There weren't many things that physically, as well as emotionally, shook Richie, but this bombshell happened to be one of them.

Seth licked at his chapped lips and scratched his hairy chin, "Did you like seeing the life _fade_ out of her?"

"No, Seth," Richie said without hesitation, "I didn't. I offered to turn her, but she…"

The older Gecko turned his lip and tried to stand on his own. Richie offered a hand to let him up, but Seth would swat it away like a newborn baby trying to walk. He fell over about two times, and if he wasn't so broken it would've been pretty damn funny.

"Stop lying to me," Seth pushed Richie's chest with a finger, "You liked it."

"Why would you think I liked it, Seth?"

Seth started to rock on his ankles, "Because you're a fucking snake, Richard."

"Enough with the Culebra jokes."

He shook his head defiantly, "That's not what I mean," by this time Richie was able to snatch the bottle away, "You did all this, for what, to run a beat-up truck stop?"

Richie pinched the bridge of his nose, "Seth it's not…" he felt himself getting impatient.

"Well then it better've been worth it, brother," Seth said, "I mean, sure we got to slice and dice _Carlitos_ , but that isn't enough," he pushed his brother again, "at the end of the day, he could still come back. But she _can't_ , thanks to you."

Even with his fast reflexes, Richie didn't see his brother curling fists flying at his face. His hand crunched against his glasses, and small shards started sticking to his hand.

"You probably enjoyed it like you enjoyed offing Dad."

Richie finally lost his patience.

And he made sure Seth knew it.

"You don't know jack shit, _brother_ ," Richie said, "Kate, as always, tried to be a hero. Carlos shot her twice," he poked Seth in the spots he would always remember, "without blinking. That night, for once, the blood I might've craved _revolted_ me. Watching the light leave her eyes almost killed me." _And it killed me even more, brother, knowing it would destroy you._

"Do you even know the very last thing she said to me, Seth?" he didn't wait for him to answer, "' **There's no more love left, Richard. I hope you burn in hell.** ' She _loathed_ me, okay? Are you happy now, brother?"

 _ **"I have come too far, and I have been through way too much, to let another Gecko boy push me to the curb."**_

"It's Kate's fault for caring so damn much. It's Kate's fault that she's so fucking naïve to realize Scott can't be saved. It's Kate's fault for thinking she can't help everybody. It's Kate's fault for trying."

Seth punched his brother again, and this time Richie saw it and let him.

"Maybe, but it's _your_ fault for not looking after her. You have super abilities, dumbass, and you didn't use them. You didn't save her."

Richie didn't bother arguing about how Carlos and his goons/guns holding him back because Seth wouldn't even care.

"I left her on the side of the road with a car and a bag full of cash. _That_ was the last time I saw her. You wanna know the last thing _I_ said to her?" he taunted, "I told her that everybody she ever loved died."

And Richie knew that, being able to see into her mind, feeling the things she felt. While seeing Kate inject his big brother with heroin was disturbing, that shame was nothing like the fear and self-loathing she felt when he said those words to her.

 **" _Get out. If you wanna go play in the darkness, little miss sunshine, you be my guest."_**

He was an asshole. They both were.

"Her last words may have been telling you to shove it," Seth said, "But at least you got the chance to say goodbye," and he sat back down against the desk.

Seth may have thought himself to be a bastard, but he didn't want that to be her last memory of him.

Richie didn't sit down this time, just leaned against the desk in a James Dean like fashion, "You need to stop drinking, Seth. We both screwed up, but I'm not drowning myself in poison."

The older Gecko couldn't help but chuckle to himself when he remembered Kate saying those exact words to him (after shooting up, once again).

"It's our fault she's dead," Richie admitted, "But I don't think Kate wanted you to drink yourself to death."

Seth closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wood supporting his tired body.

"Don't say her name."

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